Women’s Empowerment; the illusion of Freedom

Women’s empowerment seems to be the “new kid on the block” when it comes to activism; even for some men.

Everyone wants to be seen as an ally, one who believes in women’s rights, one who supports women to live their full potential, one who’s quick to defend women against societal stereotypes and those who abuse them.

But a lot of this is just cosmetic; people are yet to fully grasp the concept of the freedom and rights they claim to fight for, they’re yet to look within themselves and understand that the fight is with themselves also.

Because a lot of the same people who fight for women’s empowerment are the very people that like to dictate what they can do with that power.

You can wear what you want- but it has to fit into my idea of what’s appropriate.

You can be what you want- but you’ve got to understand that as a woman you have limitations.

You can marry who you want – but you have to understand that as a woman you need a man who earns more than you so you don’t become superior to him.

Your body is yours to do what you please with it – but as a woman you’ve got to atleast have a few children because it’s what you were born to do.

Many still don’t understand that giving a person the freedom to make certain life choices means accepting that it maybe one you don’t understand, agree or appreciate; that some of these choices may go against your beliefs, lifestyle and core values.

Think about it; why fight to give someone freedom and restrict what they can do with it?

Yes, freedom comes with responsibility; I get that. But it’s up to the person to be responsible for those choices and not you to force them into it.

We’re not free; for now, it’s all an illusion.

The President on Homosexuality; he said what he said.

See I’m going to keep this very simple because I know no matter how well I put this people are still going to find a reason to be offended.

There’s public outrage over an interview President Akufo-Addo granted in which he said that the conversation on the legalization of homosexuality was bound to happen. Read here Here

Now I understand your anger if this is a practice you’re against, especially if it’s one your religion forbids.

But the president response doesn’t in ANYWAY condone the act, in fact he maybe equally against it.

But he wasn’t voted into power to enforce his own personal beliefs on all of us, he was voted to represent ALL the citizens of the country irrespective of their beliefs and practices.

Which is why he gave an intellectual response, devoid of emotions to that question.

Because years in LAW school would have taught him about human rights and the realities of any minority group.

Legalization of anything doesn’t suggest that everyone agrees with it, it’s to protect the few who do; which is why there are still people in America against homosexuality and are free to be, so long as they don’t harm those who’re for it.

The law exist to protect ALL its citizens and not impose ones personal beliefs and views on another.

So the president’s response is what anyone who understands history, law and the realities of the world we live in today, would say.

History should teach us all that every minority, or group of people that feel oppressed, restricted etc will some day find their voice,strength and the balls to demand for equal treatment.

That’s just the way it is!

Twins.

Albinos.

Jews.

Women.

Black people.

Interracial couples.

At some point in our history these groups of people have been completely disregarded and some even KILLED for not being “normal”.

They’ve risen up and fought to be included.

The president didn’t condone homosexuality, he simply stated the FACT that at some point we’ll be forced to have this conversation, whether we want to or not; and it may not even be any time soon or even in our life time.

But we have to reach the mental capacity needed to have these debates.

Which is why I don’t think it’s fair to constantly pressurize African leaders to taking a stand on this.

Where we are now as a country, all these developed countries were several decades ago, so we shouldn’t be forced to run when we’re just learning how to WALK.

With that being said, your outrage isn’t going to change the fact that your friend,doctor,pastor (yep them too) lawyer etc is GAY.

Pretending they don’t exist doesn’t change the FACT that they do.

Sad | My Last words to a Facebook user who committed suicide and those who mocked him. 

About three days ago I saw what seemed to be a suicide note from one of my followers, and after reading it sent him a message both privately and publicly to hang in there.

I do this a lot; and some of you have received random messages and phone calls from me whenever I can or feel inclined to. 

But more than anything it’s the comments from his friends that worried me; some mocked him, others experessed disappointment in his inability to “tough it out” and the worst were those who encouraged him to do it. 
Only a few thought it wise to say kind words or try to reach out to him and encourage him not to.
For days I’ve montored his page and wondered about if he’s ok, got the help he needed and if he actually went through with it.
I even wondered how the friends who’d made fun of him would feel if he’d actually killed him self.
Well he did.
There’s so much we don’t understand about depression, mental health and the people who suffer through it; it’s easy for us to think them weak or stupid because we presume they’re just people not “tough enough” for this life.

But the truth is we all have those days when we feel the weight of the world on our shoulders, days when we’re unhappy for no reason, days when we feel like everyone’s against us, and days when we can’t even put into words how we feel.

Days like that all we need is someone to talk to, someone’s who’s willing to listen and if possible get us professional help. 

People who commit suicide are just crying out for help and it’s up to us to hear their silent cry. 
Unfortunately recent events have led me to believe that we’ve become a society that lacks empathy or an understanding of mental health. And because of this we sit by, make fun, humiliate and further kick people when they’re down. 
Dear Kofi, I’m so sorry we didn’t hear you on time, I’m sorry on behalf of those that laughed at you, they didn’t know any better, and I’m sorry that you felt pushed to do this. May your death encourage us all to do better and look out for each other more. 
Below are screen shots from comments I and others wrote on his wall leading up to his death. 
 
** NOTE : Dear Dia is still open to all. I created it on my blog for people to share their stories or what they’re going through anonymously. Just being able to share your story sometimes helps, and thankfully so many people leave kind words of support and in some cases professionals reach out to help. Send you story to contact@lydiaforson.com 

Sexual Assault | Speaking out takes COURAGE don’t shame Victims.

I really can’t stand how EVERYONE seems to want to tell victims of sexual assault what they should or shouldn’t have done in the situation.
How do you tell someone how to react to something you’ve NEVER experienced.
How many rapist walk freely in Ghana and the world, how many rapist are prosecuted, how many times have women been scrutinized for actions that led to their assault?
There’s a real fear of your life being over for speaking out, because you’ll lose that job, be shamed, be forever treated as a victim and not a survivor and live the rest of your life reliving your abuse through the judgmental eyes of people. 
In a fair world, women and even men of sexual assault would immediately scream out and report their abusers.

But the reality is, in a country like Ghana, for instance, where you have to pay GH20 for a rape form, and other countries where victims have no money or their abusers are powerful men they’re really crippled and can’t do much. 
So before you give your ignorant opinion about sexual assault, know the real risk a VICTIM takes in speaking out and understand the courage they have for doing so.

My Runway Moment at Glitz Fashion Week 

So guess who took over the runway at this years Glitz Fashion Week!!

You guessed right. Meeeeeeee!!!!

I still remember cat walking in my living room in  as a kid and telling everyone I was going to be a model.

Then the world stopped me before I could even dream any further,  by telling me I was too big to ever walk the runway.

Who’s laughing now?

There are no limitations to what you can  do with your life. if you put your mind to it and you’re determined, the world will have no choice but to accommodate you.

Big thank you to Latasha of www.aboutthatcurvylife.com for allowing me to do this and Abaya of Lagos for the amazing outfit.