Loving your abuser to change; the new type of women’s advocacy that enables abuse.

Yet women are supposed to be polite in their advocacy, they’re supposed to be soft spoken, un confrontational, choose their words carefully and remain calm through it all.

They’re not supposed to antagonize men and they have to WIN them over because OFCOURSE if the person abusing you isn’t on board it’s a wasted effort.

So guess what?

We join forces with them, speak in a language that doesn’t alienate them, focus more on making them feel comfortable with the idea of equality than speaking against the abuse and suffering.

They love that we’re proving to them that we’re not against them by NOT speaking up when we have to and even when we do, making sure they understand that we men some men and not all.


So they’re happy, yaaaaah because it takes us constantly rubbing their heads and their balls to prove to them that when we speak out against a man’s mistreatment of another woman, it doesn’t mean all of them.


Now , a videos out of a girl being ganged rapped, and these “let’s join forces” people are either suspiciously silent or screaming left right centre for justice.

And the men in their circles are saying “but she didn’t scream”, “what was she doing there anyway”, ” there was no penetration”, “poor guys will go to jail for no penetration”.

What do you say to that?

How do you address this without “offending” all men?

How do you use LOVE to get them to reason?

Because this year women’s advocacy has been met even more resistance than any other year( I know).

It’s been turned into a we’re against men movement, even when we’ve said over and over that we’re not.

And men have been at the centre of this misconception, because you can’t speak on anything a man has done without another jumping in to disclaim that not all men are like that.

A lot of men have spent a better part of this year constantly trying to prove their different from the men we speak about, and they’ve done this by discrediting all group set up to fight for women and not in showing us through their behavior they’re different.

Several groups have been created ( by other women) to counter this notion by proving to men how much we LOVE THEM.

But tell me, how has that changed the mindset of these rapist and abusers?

How has showing them love stopped people from beating their wives and killing them?

So why cry out now when rape still remains a “sport” for some men. ( notice I said some, seeing that I constantly have to remind you it’s not all of you)

How many times did you talk about rape as compared to the times you did against groups set up to fight it?— Zero.

How do we change ANYTHING if we’re unwilling to address the mindset that creates this environment in he first place.