Dear #GirlDads, make the world a better place for your daughters.

After the shocking death of NBA Star Kobe Bryant the hashtag #girldad started trending when Elle Duncan, from the American broadcaster ESPN, shared her encounter with him and how proud he was to have his daughters, (read here ) the hashtag #girldad started to trend.

Kobe had four children, all girls and no boy, before he died; and for an NBA legend of his caliber so many willed him to have a son who’d inherit the “gene” as they put it.

However he never missed an opportunity to tell everyone how proud he was of his daughters especially Gianni who he often boasted about having “the gene”.

The trending hashtag got several fathers joining in to share their own images and stories of how proud they were to have daughters.

But, underneath the beautiful images was a deeper message of how far we still have to go if people literally had to “prove” that having a daughter is ok.

Also I read a lot of proud fathers supporting and willing their daughters to be anything they wanted to be.

Although these were great you read, you have to wonder if they understood that for a woman to be “ANYTHING” she wants, the world needs to be set up in a way that makes this possible.

So;

Dear #girldads,

I have a message for you as someone who got all the love and encouragement from her father to be anything she puts her mind to.

It’s great that you’re loving on your daughters, cheering them on and willing them to conquer the world.

It’s great to see you raising your daughters to know their worth, set standards and demand for equal treatment.

Unfortunately all this will mean very little if you’re not doing anything to change the world your daughters are going to have to live in when they step out.

If you’re watching your friends treat women poorly, abuse and rape them, or not raising your sons to know boundaries, respect women (people) or treat them equally; these are the people your “precious” daughters will have to face when they leave your care.

Because NO amount of loving, money and extra care and attention will change the real world your daughters have to live in.

No amount of LOVING will stop predators from preying on her or the many other roadblocks she will face in trying to be the successful woman you encouraged her to be.

The paedophile teacher will be in class waiting for her.

The creepy boss who doesn’t care about how qualified she is for the job, but instead how willing she is to have sex with him, will be waiting for her.

The abusive husband who’s been raised to believe a woman is nothing more than property you pay for, will be waiting for her.

So, in addition to loving up on your little angels and being present in their lives; do better to create a world they can live in.

Because the men you want them to marry, the bosses you want them to have, the schools you want them to go to will be filled with the very predators you did nothing to stop.

Your “bro code” should include calling out the bad behavior you see.

Also, LOVE YOUR SONS; and I don’t mean the “I’m proud to have a son to carry my name” type of love either.

I mean really love them as you do your daughters; raise them with the same love, care and attention.

Spend as much time teaching them how to treat women(people) as you do telling your daughters the kind of treatment to expect from men(people).

Protect them as you protect your daughters, because they too are at the mercy of predators, they too can be hurt,manipulated, brainwashed and influenced by gender stereotypes.

And if they’re damaged and hurt will be the ones to hurt the very daughters you love.

Lastly be an example of the standards you set for both your daughters and sons; you can’t teach them one thing and do another.

Let’s make the world a better place not just in words, but through action for everyone.