Procreation; our incessant obsession and the insanity it breeds.

Thoughts on my mind :

I wrote this a while back and forgot to share, maybe now is the time to.

It’s no news that our society is obsessed with procreation, particularly from married couples and women.

And often women are the center of this attention and blame if it doesn’t happen within a certain time frame.

Unfortunately this stereotype is perpetuated throughout our society, from the media to our movies and especially in our religious settings.

From the angry mother-in-law in our movies chasing the “baren” wife out of the house, to herbalist who promises his concoctions will “open up the womb”, and probably the most popular, the serial intercessory prayers for “the fruit of the womb” women are subjected to in churches; the woman is always at the center of this attention.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that women are solely responsible for “procreation ” and men on the other hand only have to just “show up” and it’s done.

This is why there are no men at the alter for the “fruit of the loins” or advertised on billboards as success stories.

And because of this many men are either ignorant to their own fertility challenges, refuse to get tested or in rare cases when they do, don’t accept or seek medical assistance.

For the few willing to go down this path it’s not always an easy one, like women, their “manhood” can be the subject of ridicule to the many who believe they should be able to “do the job”.

Even the most progressive and understanding men aren’t exempt from this pressure, and because it’s not a subject often discussed openly; a lot of men equally suffer in silence.

For some couples, the woman decides to take the blame to protect their partners, because our society is already conditioned to believe she’s the problem.

The shame, unworthiness and exclusions some women feel has led them down some dangerous paths that we all know, but never really talk about.

I know stories of the “sanest” women willing to drink,bath or mix whatever it is they’ve been promised to secure a child; and through the many procedures, promises, payments to herbalist, men of God, etc some have slowly lost their minds and themselves along with it.

To many in our society we’re so focused on the getting the CHILD but not the means; and it’s why no one questions or cares about the how.

So while everyone cheers on, drinks and eats in celebration of a new life, the couple or woman depending on what they went through, fights to keep memories of journey, hidden where no one can find it- hopefully to their grave. (Well unless sometimes a DNA 🧬 decides to disrupt this peace.)

There’s so many layers to this subject that a single note isn’t enough to cover; and while I’m not excusing or justifying the choices people make; I hope we understand what drives them.

Fertility issues are complicated, sensitive and affect both men and women; and our societies pressure only adds to an already delicate situation.

For those who “sense” isn’t common to them, here are a few tips :

1. Stop asking women, men, young couples etc when they will have children.
2. Stop announcing peoples pregnancies, if they are and they want to they will do so themselves. ( not every big tummy carries a baby sometimes it’s an illness or just food 🤷🏾‍♀️)
3. Stop counting peoples eggs or policing their ages; unless it’s your body it’s not your job to tell anyone how much time they have left.
4. Not everyone can or wants to have children.
5. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️
6. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️
7. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️
8. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️
9. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️
10. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️
11. MIND YOUR BUSINESS ‼️‼️