If you’ve ever said “they’re just frustrated, bitter, angry women” this is for you.

Today as we celebrate InternationalWomen’s Day, I want to focus on the issue of sexual harassment and how many men and even women react to it.

Let’s take a break from the “celebrating ” of the women we feel are “worthy” and let’s talk about the women often neglected on this day.

The Angry, Bitter, Frustrated – Women.

This is how those who speak out on sexual harassment and other issues involving women are often described.

A lot of men and even some women believe it’s a witch hunt against men, the stories ridiculous and the women over reacting to “normal” interest from men.

So here’s a little break down for those who feel this way.

I’m in my 30’s.

I can count at-least ONE case of sexual harassment for nearly each year of my life since I’ve been old enough to understand.

At least ONE, at-most MORE.

Now if women are really honest, they’ve all experienced one form of sexual harassment or another; from that cousin you shared a room with,to the teacher who asked you to stay after school, or the uncle who always wanted you to sit on his lap; or the boss who casually slaps your ass each time you go to his office, and even the pastor that touches your breast instead of your chest during a prayer, and sometimes the stranger on the streets that will shout provocative words to you.

We’ve all been and continue to go through this almost every day of our lives.

And before you jump in and say “well not everyone’s trying to be inappropriate with you” trust that we’re intelligent enough to know the difference.

So no, we’re not confused about sexual harassment, it’s not just a guy asking me out, it’s not just me uninterested in a guy who wants me and we’re not confusing genuineinterest with harassment.

It’s the unwanted hand up my skirt, the smacking of my butt from strangers, the forced kissed from people I barely know and the assumption that I have to find these complimentary.

We know the difference because we’ve been dealing with this all our lives.

Now let’s do a little math; if all women were honest about their negative experiences with men, by 30 by years old each woman can count at least one case of sexual harassment for each year, that’s more than 20 plus instances.

Now, get her in a room with 10 other women of the same age and that’s 200 stories; add more women and the numbers increase.

So now imagine if all these women found their voices and began to speak on each time they’d faced sexual harassment or any type of abuse; they’d have enough stories for each day of the year and more.

With that, let’s finally address the frustrated, bitter, angrywoman rhetoric that’s been thrown around in relation to women’s activism.

OFCOURSE we’re angry, OFCOURSE we’re bitter, OFCOURSE we’re frustrated.

But not necessarily at men ( which we’ve said many times but people refuse to hear); we’re at the system that enables this, the system that forces women to be quiet about their abuse, the system that blames us for everything we suffer, the system that gives power to some men to get away with the things they do.

We’re angry that you don’t get it, angry that we can’t talk about our experience with ONE man without all men feeling under attack, frustrated that we can’t be emotional about the pain. Angry that we have to be polite, keep a straight face, sound logical and speak in a tone you find acceptable when we speak on our experiences.

If women speaking out makes you uncomfortable and you feel under attack then you’ve got some tough questions to ask yourself.

Like; how does ones experience with a rapist affect you? Why do you feel uneasy when women are talking about their bad experiences with men; especially if you’re confident you’re none of these things.

So today, take a break from posting beautiful pictures of women you deem “worthy” of celebration, the well behaved women you find none threatening and more appealing to your views on feminism.

Listen to the stories of the women you find appalling, the women who sound angry and bitter.

Listen even if you don’t understand, listen without interruption, you’ll hear the pain in her voice  once you finally pay attention.

#metoo